FTC preparation and questions about my FTC question icon_wub

[Stephannie]

hi Jeff can I ask you a question?


In a previous season on the jury I said: "I knew day one you'd be sitting at the end and here you are!" and then I posted a gif of RC looking condescending...

I mean, I thought it was pretty funny,


If the final 3 is Candice/Penner/Rocky can I do a similar thing even though I've done it before, or would that count as "revealing my ID" since I did the same thing in a speech in a previous ORG?

[Stephannie]

also I'm feeling pretty uninspired by my speech.

Stacy and Rocky don't give me a lot to write about

[Jeff Probst]

hi Jeff can I ask you a question?


In a previous season on the jury I said: "I knew day one you'd be sitting at the end and here you are!" and then I posted a gif of RC looking condescending...

I mean, I thought it was pretty funny,


If the final 3 is Candice/Penner/Rocky can I do a similar thing even though I've done it before, or would that count as "revealing my ID" since I did the same thing in a speech in a previous ORG?

Couldn't you just be ...original?

Can I just say, my biggest pet peeve with you is that you LIVED in your previous experiences instead of living in THIS game and THIS experience, it just feels like with you this was just another game, whereas someone else who has played in other games explicitly said this was a special experience for them even after having played in hundreds of other games, this one was special.

[Stephannie]

hi Jeff can I ask you a question?


In a previous season on the jury I said: "I knew day one you'd be sitting at the end and here you are!" and then I posted a gif of RC looking condescending...

I mean, I thought it was pretty funny,


If the final 3 is Candice/Penner/Rocky can I do a similar thing even though I've done it before, or would that count as "revealing my ID" since I did the same thing in a speech in a previous ORG?

Couldn't you just be ...original?

Can I just say, my biggest pet peeve with you is that you LIVED in your previous experiences instead of living in THIS game and THIS experience, it just feels like with you this was just another game, whereas someone else who has played in other games explicitly said this was a special experience for them even after having played in hundreds of other games, this one was special.

that isn't what I meant!!!
what I meant was that I was writing&preparing my speech beforehand, and I was like: "Oh that's be a good place for a RC gif!" and then like 2 minutes later I was like... "Oh wait I feel like I've done that before... hm... maybe I shouldn't"

So it wasn't like a: "Oh I need to re-live a past moment" it was a: "Oh crap I did that before.. I wonder if it's against the rules to post the same gif"




also I tried my best not to talk about old ORGs (I thought I had been successful )
I mean for me this was the ORG I've spent the least amount of time going: "in my last game I did x, y, z so now I'm going to do a, b, c instead" because (and sorry for bringing it up but I have to for the context here) my other ORG confessionals are always super full of me going: "omg I got x position last game now I have to do better!!!!" and I thought I was able to refrain from doing that here



but truthfully from a personal standpoint... this was the most fun ORG I've done... and the only time I'd ever start thinking about past games is when I'm trying to draw on it to figure out whether or not someone is planning to trick me.



I probably gave off the impression from me going: "Yay I made the merge!!!" but that wasn't about "ticking off the box of just another ORG" it was about being able to stay with the game for the full duration... I would have hated to be sitting in Loser's Lodge with Yau Man, Rita, Ozzy, etc. and have NOBODY to talk about the game with, y'know what I mean?
Like for me the experience was what it was: I wasn't going in hyper-aware of "placement" and all that... just as long as I made it to the jury because I wanted the opportunity to leave my mark on the game and STICK AROUND FOR THE WHOLE TIME instead of sitting in loser's lodge and slowly forgetting about it because nobody's there to talk with me

[Stephannie]

like I'm only talking about past games right now because I feel like I need to bring them up to explain what I'm trying to say: I've played 5 other ORGs.

My first ORG was my first ORG, so there was no past game to live in.
My second ORG I spent the ENTIRE time going: "This is how I played my last game, and this is how I'm playing this one."
My third ORG, the same thing, but a little less.
My fourth ORG I spent literally every single round talking about how I wanted to do better than my 3rd ORG
My fifth ORG was a returnee season so I spent the whole time comparing that experience with my first experience.


Truthfully, I honestly thought I was "in the moment" for the whole time here.... I felt as though every round was about that round. Maybe it's just my personality to reflect upon the past after getting voted out: "Oh I got voted out because of x, y, z. I wish I could have done better. I know my skills are a, b, c, so I want to use them"

[Stephannie]

also every night I would get home from work at 8 and spend an hour catching up on PM's, then at challenges&tribal, then spent the next 4 or 5 hours on PM's staying up way past my bedtime and waking up for work with no sleep.

Then at work I'd spend the whole day running scenarios about votes, strategy, etc.

Honestly not one thought went into past ORG's aside from when I wanted to make a comment about how I was performing compared to earlier games I've done.


I legitimately would have dreams every night about this game, and would explain my position in the game each round to family members.

[Stephannie]

Like I don't know if it's just because I'm really tired but I'm actually crying right now and feeling really sad because I thought that I really put my 10,000% into this game moreso than ever before and I was super proud of every single round... I was so excited with how my arc went and how things went down and to hear that the whole time I was just boringly re-telling past games kind of makes me feel like it was all for nothing and that the whole time I was thinking I was this big exiting player making a difference in the game... I was just annoying all the hosts by being: "Oh I hope I do better than how I did in my other games for my ORG resume!"

[Stephannie]

but I'm actually crying right now

and I'm not just saying that to be a drama queen or one of those "let's be OTTN for fun" people

[Stephannie]

And when I sent you the PM asking if I was allowed to talk about a previous ORG, it was because I wanted to say: "I feel like I have an early-boot curse when I play as 'from-the-show' reps" not because I wanted to sit down and "think back to the good old days" of other games

[Stephannie]

you LIVED in your previous experiences instead of living in THIS game and THIS experience

again I have to say I never thought I was doing that... or at least never noticed.... but I guess it is what it is now and all I can do is write my jury speech...


So I guess that's what I'll be doing in here tonight


though honestly... feeling super uninspired with this f3.

[Stephannie]

okay I thought I was done but I have one last thing to say...

I had been feeling so isolated in this game for the longest time. I had Flicka as my "#1 ally" but truthfully it didn't feel nearly as strong as it could have been... and aside from Flicka there really isn't anyone else.

Cassandra, Jessica, Candice, Cecilia, Nate, Liliana... all people who I've been exchanging pleasantries with, but no sense of: "YAS GURL <33333333333333" friendship with.
So honestly I've just been feeling very alone&bleak when I go into Ponderosa for the last little while because there isn't that huge connection there. Like... Flicka was a great friend in the game but she seems super impartial when there are disagreements and a lot of the time it feels like it's me vs everyone else, and then Rebecca will come to my defense... but Rebecca isn't online at the times everyone else is.


So I was thinking... at least I'll come out of the game on a positive note where the hosts really enjoyed watching me through the game, so it just feels like everything is crashing down around me right now





sorry if this is drawn-out and whiny and annoying, but.... I don't know where else I'd post it.

[Stephannie]

I guess I'll start drafting my questions now...

[Stephannie]

Stacy
(a) Forget how you played the game and the strategy, scheming, plotting, etc. Forget the game as a whole and let's focus on just you and me. Why should you get MY vote over Penner or Rocky? I'm not interested in a general "I played x, y, z strategy" answer. Give me a unique reason that is specific to ME and tell me why you deserve my vote.

(b) Please list your top 3 favorite moments from your rep on the real show and give a quick reasoning as to why those are your favorite moments. Don't spend too long on this because the other question is more important... but if you don't at least try to answer (a) and (b) there is a 0% chance you'll get my vote.

Penner
(a) Had you been more active around the merge, would you have put any effort into saving me? Do you think it would have been beneficial to your game to keep me around, or was getting rid of me the right move at the right time for you?

(b) How much of your early merge inactivity was strategy, and how much of it was food poisoning?

(c) What am I studying in post-secondary school, how many years do I have left, and what type of unpopular weather do I like?

Please answer all parts of the question.

Rocky
(a) Let's focus on the two of us for a minute. Why do you deserve my vote over the two of Stacy or Penner? I don't want to here a generic answer about a certain "impressive" move in the game that could be applied to get anyone's vote. Why do you deserve MY vote?

(b) If Svinoy 2.0 had lost an immunity challenge, who would you have voted for at our first tribal council and why?

(c) Which player was the biggest goat, and which goat was the biggest player?

[Stephannie]

Actually... okay. Sorry to be repetitive about this, but I feel like I'll do a much better job writing this speech with a bit of a sense of "closure" in that I understand what the criticisms are and I accept them, apologize, and write my speech with a clear mind.


@Jeff Probst: Can I ask you what it was I did that was disappointing and showed you that I was living through other ORGs more than this one? I'm not putting up a fuss to be a jerk or because "my ego is bruised" or anything like that... (in fact one of the things I try really hard NOT to do is be that person who can't accept any criticisms and puts up a fight whenever someone says something about them) so I am NOT sitting here trying to flat-out deny anything or lie or start drama or anything like that.

I just want to know what it was I did, and then I'll be able to acknowledge it, accept it, apologize, and then feel less upset about the whole ordeal. I say this with no grain of lying/sarcasm/etc. I genuinely don't know what it was I did.

[Stephannie]

Like this game was pretty much what I spent 100% of my free time on for half of my summer (and don't regret any of it) so to hear that I've been acting ungrateful/boring/annoying/etc. the whole time just makes me feel like a piece of shit.


And I don't know if now I'm just "seeing things" because of paranoia/etc. after this thread but based on some comments/interactions in Ponderosa/here/etc. I feel like a lot the hosts really don't like me at all

[Stephannie]

Last post before I go to bed:

you know when you do something you kind of forgot about and then it comes up later, and it's time to face the music and you don't really remember it was you, so you kind of go: "Oh I don't know what you're talking about" but in the back of your mind there's that nagging feeling that you know you were the one who did it?
(example: you're in a dark room at a friend's house and bump into something. The next day there's a broken vase in the same room, and you don't know who it was: you deny it and say that you didn't break it because you don't remember breaking it. But in the back of your mind you know that it probably was you who broke it, but you don't know for sure and you don't want to face repercussions so you're just going to keep denying it).



For me there is none of that feeling. Like I'm not just "playing dumb" while simultaneously knowing deep-down in the back of my head exactly what it is. I genuinely thought I was doing a good job staying "in-the-game" here.




okay that's enough for me tonight, I'm going to bed.

[Jeff Probst]

Oh, girl... Lol, I didn't mean to upset you that much, it was just a pet peeve of mine that you do. I mean, on some levels it is insulting to have a player talk about other games a lot while they're playing your game, but ultimately it didn't upset me THAT much lol. Make no mistake about it, you're an all-star for a reason and you played hard and made a huge impact on the season, negatively or positively. I'm just saying that one aspect of your confessionals bugged me a lot, but that doesn't mean i don't think you gave this your all, I just think you need to practice living in the moment more and not dwelling on the past as much, but maybe that's apart of your personality, idk.

[Stephannie]

thank you for clarifying .
on to editing my speech

[Stephannie]

Stacy... I look at you in the final 3 and the only reaction I can muster right now is this:

Personally I just found it a slap in the face that you didn't even bother to message me more than 1 or 2 times at the merge.

And don't pull the old "I was out traveling" BS because in the MORNING you read my PM, and I saw your name online MULTIPLE times throughout the rest of the day... actually I feel like it wasn't even that same day I feel like you ignored it for multiple days.
So you made the conscious decision to ignore my PM.

And from the sounds of it, there were multiple people on the jury that you didn't even bother to message because they were on the bottom. Liliana's name comes to mind, and she told us that when she got to Ponderosa.

How could I in good conscience give you my vote tonight? You can talk all you want about how you "were secretly a strategic mastermind" (newsflash: everyone thinks they were, so try something else) and how you "Played a good strategic game" but like... everyone in the final 3 played a good game due to where they're sitting right now.

I want you to give me a valid reason that will make ME will want to give YOU my vote. The answer needs to be something unique to me, because there are plenty of things Rocky and Penner have done throughout the game to impact me on a one-on-one level.

I'm struggling to find that with you. Can you give me a good reason why my vote should go to you?

I mean... there's one question for you to answer.


Next on the list... you were ranked #9 on Mykines 1.0 when we did the first tribe swap.
Do you know who was ranked #9 on Svinoy 1.0? Nate BEFORE the rep replacement... i.e. someone who didn't PM a single person for 3 days.

Can you give me a rationale behind why you were ranked that low? We never worked together pre-merge. Did you improve that #9 ranking on Mykines 2.0 and Mykines 3.0?
Because the first round of the merge I had you ranked as the person LEAST playing the game because you hadn't bothered to message anyone.

So to me I just find it hard to view you as someone who was dedicated here.... like.... you were a pawn for Jessica and Cecilia and then what?


Another thing to gauge how I view you in this game... What three things did your rep do in Survivor Fiji that you enjoyed the most? You don't have to give reasoning because the question is getting long, but if you have time feel free.


summary of questions:
(1) What reason do I have to give you MY vote? Not just getting a vote out of "respect for the game" or that BS... but why do you deserve my vote?
(2) Do you think it was fair to be ranked #9 on Mykines 1.0, and when do you think you stopped being that rank?
(3) Give me your 3 favorite Stacy moment from Survivor Fiji.

[Stephannie]

Stacy... I look at you in the final 3 and the only reaction I can muster right now is this:

Personally I just found it a slap in the face that you didn't even bother to message me more than 1 or 2 times at the merge.

And don't pull the old "I was out traveling" BS because in the MORNING you read my PM, and I saw your name online MULTIPLE times throughout the rest of the day... actually I feel like it wasn't even that same day I feel like you ignored it for multiple days.
So you made the conscious decision to ignore my PM.

And from the sounds of it, there were multiple people on the jury that you didn't even bother to message because they were on the bottom. Liliana's name comes to mind, and she told us that when she got to Ponderosa.

How could I in good conscience give you my vote tonight? You can talk all you want about how you "were secretly a strategic mastermind" (newsflash: everyone thinks they were, so try something else) and how you "Played a good strategic game" but like... everyone in the final 3 played a good game due to where they're sitting right now.

I want you to give me a valid reason that will make ME will want to give YOU my vote. The answer needs to be something unique to me, because there are plenty of things Rocky and Penner have done throughout the game to impact me on a one-on-one level.

I'm struggling to find that with you. Can you give me a good reason why my vote should go to you?

I mean... there's one question for you to answer.


Next on the list... you were ranked #9 on Mykines 1.0 when we did the first tribe swap.
Do you know who was ranked #9 on Svinoy 1.0? Nate BEFORE the rep replacement... i.e. someone who didn't PM a single person for 3 days.

Can you give me a rationale behind why you were ranked that low? We never worked together pre-merge. Did you improve that #9 ranking on Mykines 2.0 and Mykines 3.0?
Because the first round of the merge I had you ranked as the person LEAST playing the game because you hadn't bothered to message anyone.

So to me I just find it hard to view you as someone who was dedicated here.... like.... you were a pawn for Jessica and Cecilia and then what?


Another thing to gauge how I view you in this game... What three things did your rep do in Survivor Fiji that you enjoyed the most? You don't have to give reasoning because the question is getting long, but if you have time feel free.


summary of questions:
(1) What reason do I have to give you MY vote? Not just getting a vote out of "respect for the game" or that BS... but why do you deserve my vote?
(2) Do you think it was fair to be ranked #9 on Mykines 1.0, and when do you think you stopped being that rank?
(3) Give me your 3 favorite Stacy moment from Survivor Fiji.

testing something out