Episode 08

[Jeff Probst]

So with the game at full swing and the jury starting, have you been thinking of not just surviving but winning the game?

Have you begun building your resume for the jury?

Has anything that was said or done tonight made you question your loyalties and how in control you are of the game and your destiny in it?

[Cecilia]

Jeff, I've been thinking about winning the game the minute I got to the merge, I think my plan was pretty good but in fact it proved too good to be true. I made the mistake of telling Steph my plan to flip, because I thought Jessica and her could make things up, but Jessica didn't trust her and didn't want her around and nobody wanted Steph around really so the best thing to do was letting her go, but the minute Steph realized she was outside my plans she totally threw me under the bus.

So Jessica was right, Steph is not a nice person actually. I mean I understand she felt betrayed by me not including her in my plans but the crossed the line of being a fucking whore nobody will want to talk to even if she stayed. That was pathetic.

Anyway, Steph did in fact had information from either Rebecca or Flicka, what this two girls should've done was shutting the help up and go with the plan but like the fucking INSULTS they are they are lying. I would totally take them to the final 3 but they're morons. So right now I'm trying to Survive more than win.

[Cecilia]

I'm not exactly building a resume to the jury, no, I'm just going to play the way I think it's best and I hope I'll be judged accordingly. I'm going to lie and I'm going to backstab so I'm not expecting to be well liked at all by the jury. But that doesn't mean they won't give me their vote for the Sole Survivor title.

[Cecilia]

And yeah absolutely, this tribal made me very dissapointed about my social play, I should've played a more under the radar game, I should've tried to be Rebecca's and Flicka's friend before approaching them so I realize I'm not in control at all, being in control is super hard and requires time, talks, being close to people, because if your social game isn't strong then you're screwed. Others have control over what happens too, and they may be close to someone else. If they were close with me they wouldn't have told anything to anyone. And they did, apparently.

But I'm taking the positive things with me and I'm not waiting, I'm playing super hard and I go home 11th place, I'll be super cool with it. It's do or die, maybe not the smartest thing to do but I'm sure taking risks NOW because tomorrow may be too late. And I need to feel I'm playing. I may get too rushy, not patient, but I can't wait to play my game anymore.

I'll keep approaching the girls (Rebecca and Flicka) and my lying game will be on point for sure.

[Cecilia]

if* I go home 11th place.

[Cecilia]

DAY 20

It's been kind of crazy, there's an alliance of Candice, Penner, Cassandra, Jessica, Stacy, Nate and myself. We're calling the shots and... oh wait, Cassandra is calling the shots. And everyone is OK with her target. She's taken the target off Lil's back for two votes in a row. Coincidentally, she's presented two original Svinoys as targets. I've tried to make them vote for Cass so the trust extinguishes. I think I'll be thrown under the bus again, but that's OK. I'll get used to it.

My "alliance" of Nate, Stacy and Jessica could've helped me to do something tonight but Jessica is not down with it, she's ruined my plans twice in a row too. Just wow. I'm starting to really dislike how assertive and dictatorial she is. She has a strong personality and it makes sense she didn't want to work with Flicka or Steph, both have targeted/lied to her. Stacy and Nate didn't seem to be too excited about my plan of blindsiding Cass. Had they supported me, it would've really, really worked.

Why? Flicka is gonna do whatever I tell her to do. She's desperate. And Rocky and I have been bonding. I trust he would've voted with us.

But maybe it's best to keep things this way and vote Flicka out. I don't trust her. And in fact Candice and Penner won't ever work with me again, and they could work on the Svinoys. Candice and I finally talked and I think we're good so I'm keeping my options open. I trust her, she's loyal. I can't blindside her right now. It hurt her that I targeted her and she got emotional. It really touched me. She could win this but, you know? I'm not thinking about who beats me at the end and who can I beat. I trust Candice. I want to go to the end with Candice. Things are shifting.

For me, It won't be all about taking all the threats out anymore. At least not completely and not for now. I want to form something strong. And I'm thinking Candice, I'm thinking Penner, I'm thinking Nate, I'm thinking Rocky. I don't know what could happen but if I keep these people close, I think I can do something.

I love chaos, but it doesn't have to be the norm. It'll be. I don't want to feel I'm too scared to play. It means I'm developing my gameplan. I'm changing with the game, Candice is changing me. I want to trust. I want to backstab to, but I want to trust first.

[Cecilia]

DAY 20

I've tried to make them vote for Cass so the trust extinguishes.

*Svinoy 2.0

[Cecilia]

Flicka is a worhtless piece of shit that doesn't deserve to be in the game. Girl can't keep her mouth shut.