Episode 07

[Jeff Varner]

Hey N8, congratulations on making the merge!

Tell me how you're feeling about making it this far, and what your plan is now that all of you are in one big tribe. How are you going to survive this next vote? How are you going to win the game?

In other words, size up your chances and size up your tribemates for us.

[Nate]

everybody is asleep! that means I am free! anyway i'll just watch a movie and come back and do my confessional. i've been on this board from 6am-2pm. It's like bloody high school all over again - social cliques, outcasts and all that shit.

[Kimmi Kappenberg]

Does N8's R8s do requests?

[Nate]

Does N8's R8s do requests?

oh go ahead

[Nate]

Okay - first comes first, the triumphant return of N8 R8s. I'm also going to start separating my confessionals like poop (79 left) properly for both readability and to bring up my post count. I’ll make it so it’s about two paragraphs per post.

Also, just to continue something from last week I noticed that nine people were in the theatre as opposed to the six that saw Vacation last week, and this time as opposed to six dirty old men, it was five dirty old men and four dirty old women. The ticket also cost 250 pesos, 10 pesos more than Vacation, meaning that this movie made nearly 23 cents more per person than Vacation. Thus is the true power of the Zefron. This is also R-16 while Vacation was R-18, which makes me wonder what about Vacation made it truly offensive to 17-year old minds.

[Nate]

Today I saw “We Are Your Friends” with nine dirty old people. Going into the movie I saw the trailer that got pseudo-viral and I thought I figured out the plot from there:

*“Wow Zefron you are so hot”
*“Wow Emily Rataja-“Blurred Lines”-akowski you are also really hot”
*“Let’s bang”
*“Yeah”
*“oh imma drop a track about how we just banged”
*“oh shit that track is fire”
*Zefron becomes a billionaire based off the aforementioned track and via the transitive property the also aforementioned banging

I was expecting next to nothing in the character department, nothing in the acting department, nothing in the “this is an actually good movie” department. According to Rotten Tomatoes this was at a 24% - so I was completely expecting shit. When I saw Fantastic Four it was at a 12%, so I was expecting double the quality of Fantastic Four – which is still not very good. I was expecting dull, I was expecting predictable. Also note – I just checked now and it went up to a 53%.

[Nate]

Well, I was wrong. This movie is confusing, it doesn’t wrap up story lines, tonally disjointed – it’s literally like three movies strung together with no reason, all the characters are unlikable as all hell, Ratajakowski can’t act for shit – the look on her face is exactly the same when she’s flirting, high as shit and angry, but I actually kind of liked it. It’s literally as if they edited three episodes of a tv show together and decided to make a movie of it. Hell, even the opening sequence could be a pretty great – if not a bit long, TV intro. Each act of the movie can probably be broken down into their own three acts if you try hard enough, but each story is so paper thin you don’t really notice how much they’re cramming in there.

The first episode act opens up like an EDM Cinderella, where instead of the “perseverance” that Cinderella showed that led to her deserving the fairy godmother, for Zefron it’s the fact that he’s very attractive and he’s pretty okay with being given PCP against his will. This part is honestly the least interesting part of the movie for me because it hasn’t devolved into a likable clusterfuck yet, but Zach Efron has enough charisma to bring me through it. It’s not an interesting world, it’s not an interesting story and it’s not even trying to tell me something or have a message or anything.

[Nate]

And then the movie completely tonally shifts to the second [hr]episode[/hr] act, where they do try to tell me a message. They split into two different subplots about how “traditional work” is only for assholes and the only way to get money and ahead in this world is to screw people together and how the EDM DJ guy is an asshole and if he continues down that road he’s probably going to become one too. This is all on top of a romance with Emily Ratajakowski which kind of reveals that Zefron is a dick and/or asshole as well. Granted, it’s not like these characters were likable in the first place, but this puts me in like an Entourage-y place where I’m not supposed to know if the movie is saying that everybody is a dick and its’s on purpose or if it’s completely by accident.

Oh shit yeah, I realize I’m spoiling the movie, but it’s not like this movie could have a lot spoiled, the literal last shot in this movie is in the trailer – but this next abrupt tone shift was so abrupt and completely out of the blue and the dialogue is so terrible during this scene I was inappropriately laughing so hard that the other nine people in the theatre were all staring at me. Even the guy recording the movie on his phone looked towards me, so if any of you download a torrent of this movie where a white kid just starts randomly laughing out loud at this scene, that’s me.

[Nate]

Spoiler: show

[spoiler] HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH. What the complete fuck. Keep in mind, I was laughing like a maniac during the fucking funeral scene. And then Zefron acknowledges to asshole MMA DJ guy that everybody is an asshole? That was intentional! What the fuck is going on? Also for the SummerFest scene, does anybody feel like that’s a completely fucking depressing tone that a Party DJ should probably never take? If I was at that event and the unknown DJ started chanting “can we ever get better than this” and starts playing *not very good* electronic music, he is kind of asking never to get a second job after that

[/spoiler]

But all in all, that movie was a likable clusterfuck. Zefron is actually really charismatic and a competent actor, and all the characters in the movie being unlikable seems to be what the filmmaker is going for, I guess, which makes it okay? I r8, 5/8. Solid C, Maybe a B-.

Now speaking of likable clusterfucks, let’s get to Cecilia’s alliance that she’s cobbled together post-merge – and judging on how this is a thousand words already – let’s get this confessional started.

[Nate]

Okay, before I go person by person, I’ll just talk about what happened generally with the alliances first. So, originally after the merge, Jessica immediately goes to me/Cecilia and tells us about how the OldSvinoy’s – Rocky, Liliana, Rebecca, Stephannie, Flicka - have teamed up. Now, I’ll go on a bit of a tangent here but I have to say – the problem with your constant tribe swaps is that it’s becoming fucking impossible to differentiate the tribes now. So for the purpose of this confessional I will be using “Original” to refer to the Tribes of 10, “Old” to refer to the Tribes of 6, and “New” to refer to the Tribes of 7. On top of that, I dare you to do at Final 10 a tribe swap to two tribes of five. It will be both a cool twist to the game and make it utterly impossible to differentiate the tribes – if that was the goal of all of this.

[Nate]

Now to continue, when Jessica does this, we tell Penner and Candice that Flicka did legitimately use her immunity idol and that the immunity necklaces save-one have all been accounted for. They both respond with the general idea of teaming OldMykines and OldHestur to make a power alliance of seven, which I will refer to as “Mystur” (pronounced like Maester from Game of Thrones). However, fuck that, I will not refer it to that because Cecilia is literally Audrey from Big Brother. She becomes adamant about adding Rebecca and Stephanie in the fold, regardless about how stupid and pointless of an idea that is to the point that I will now refer to this alliance as “the High Rollers” because that’s how much confidence I have in the idea of this alliance lasting very much longer. I honestly doubt we’ll make it to the weekend. Stephanie and Jessica are catfighting, there are a million different deals within the alliance, and it’s existence is already fucking known by Flicka and Liliana. I feel like Cecilia’s game at this point can be summarized by the son of Jun Song, the winner of Big Brother 4 right here. But now, I’ve been trying to think of a way that somehow makes Cecilia’s actions make sense and this is my theory: Cecilia, Stephanie and Candice have a Final 3 deal from OriginalSvinoy and are planning to honor that. I had to fucking tell Cecilia that the hosts were going to rig the game against her if she planned too far ahead so she could stop and get some sleep.

Also quick tangent – today I started using the idea that you guys are going to rig the game for the opposition to justify a lot of things, which mostly goes unquestioned and people generally go along with that, so I feel like I might start to use that more. I also tried asking somebody to photoshop a fake hidden immunity idol but now that enough people know what the real one looks like through Flicka playing it I feel like it will be a lot less effective.

[Nate]

Also the "here" was supposed to be a hyperlink to this: https://twitter.com/jundishes/status/615439595224829952

Currently the plan is for Liliana, Flicka and then Rocky to be booted first, second and third, which honestly I’m 100% fine with but I doubt that’s going to happen with this clusterfuck of an alliance. However, if we do end up Casaya-ing it, it’ll be very entertaining to see how it shakes up. But we aren’t, due to the following reasons:

1. The fear of Jessica being able to beast her way through every challenge – making herself a threat (and the 500+ post count is making people think that you rigged the game to help her by merging so quick)

2. The Jessica vs. Stephanie argument, and all the passive-aggressiveness and aggressive-aggressiveness between them

3. The fact that Cecilia and Candice are literally the center of everything

4. It has fucking nine people

5. The millions of side deals within this one alliance – I even drew a diagram of it.

[Nate]

If and when we break up, I don’t think I’ll be the first target by far, so I guess I’ll hopefully get my fake Hidden Immunity Idol by then (hey EuroTerry/AusTom), which hopefully will give me room to scramble and to try to make it out of this clusterfuck. A big goal of today was to try to socialize with other people and try to develop bonds both with other people within and outside of the clusterfuck, which hopefully will allow me for some word to squirm. Especially considering that for an alliance of 9 in a group of 12 to successfully lose power about 44% of the alliance has to flip, so if I’m close to 57% of the alliance, I should be able to see it happening.
Person to person I can’t see enough people who would be willing to flip because:
 Cecilia -> literally every person she has a deal with is in this alliance
 Me -> ditto
 Candice and Penner -> ditto
 Jessica -> her only other option is working with people who were going to vote her out earlier
 Stacy -> I don’t think she has any close allies other than maybe Jessica
At the very least that’s a strong six so hopefully we stick together and become a wonderful Casaya-esque clusterfuck mega alliance, but if we don’t I feel like I’m not completely fucked

[Nate]

Now that I’m approaching two thousand words, it’s time to actually answer the questions I asked and do quick conversation recaps:

> Hey N8, congratulations on making the merge!
No, thank you for having me :)

Tell me how you're feeling about making it this far, and what your plan is now that all of you are in one big tribe. How are you going to survive this next vote? How are you going to win the game?
Hopefully by riding the clusterfuck alliance for a while and then slitting Cecilia’s throat when her three-way alliance becomes a threat and hopefully picking up enough of the pieces to ride to the end of the game


In other words, size up your chances and size up your tribemates for us.
I feel like I have a win percentage of about one-in-six or seven at this point. That’s not fantastic odds but they aren’t terrible and in my opinion better than normal.

[Nate]

Person by Person - my opinion on: 73 messages in two hours according to my PM box.

~No messages~
Rocky -> wasn't here

Stacy -> wasn't here - but I sent her a PM essentially recapping the events of the day a few hours ago for trust purposes

~A few messages~

Penner -> was barely here, but we just shook each others hands digitally and said "lets get this alliance together man"

Flicka -> told me that she "wasn't going to be here" but remained online for two hours after she said she was going to log off.

Lilliana -> talked a bit about Zefron and how she didn't know who Zefron was outside of High School Musical. Bitch, haven't you seen Neighbors? She didn't reply to me after it took me 20 minutes to reply to one of her messages. Her refusal to reference that Zefronicance

Rebeccah -> talked about a lot of non-game stuff like how's our lives and shit before the merge. After the merge she fell asleep pretty quickly so we weren't able to exchange much. Forgot to mention this back then but my first Mykines message to her was a parody of Trap Queen which I felt like needed to be mentioned.

~A bit more messages~
Stephannie -> we made a lot of jokes about how many fucking PMs she had to read. She referenced that I was the New Nate like 3 or 4 times which I find really weird and her go to joke (as I recall from Day 1 - or I guess 5) is "lol you were going to get voted off lol and now you are at the merge". She also threw some shade Jessica's way, but in #TeamJessica or #TeamStephannie, I'm definitely #TeamJessica

Candice -> I put her in this tier just because we talked a lot before the merge about tv and shit, but after the merge she logged off after telling me that her goal was to work "cross tribal" or whatever she meant and that she was down for the four of us (Cici/Penner/Me/Her) as a F4.


~A lot of messages~
Cassandra -> we made a lot of jokes about satanism and after the merge we transitioned into talking game and about the Hestur+Mykines working together, she said she acknowledges that its also a massive clusterfuck we both agreed clusterfucks are probably the best to operate in.

Cecilia -> essentially this https://twitter.com/jundishes/status/615439595224829952

Jessica -> again gamebotty type stuff from her end, throwing a lot of shade to Stephannie over how much of a lying bitch she is supposedly. We made a lot of jokes in her typical "SEE I'M SAYING A STUPID OPINION BUT BECAUSE IT'S BOLD" type humor.

[Nate]

oh also another unrelated tangent, starting this year my old high school school newspaper is now all dedicated to a buzzfeed-inspired photoblog - granted, the journalistic integrity of a high school newspaper is not something I should be concerned about, but damn it's now annoying. I don't want to read an article entitled "Top 5 Best Food Stops in [City] for Health-Nuts" (not the exact title because I don't want people googling it) because:
a) "Top 5 Best" - you could have said "Top 5" or "Best 5" but "Top 5 Best" is pointless
b) "Food Stops" - please, no
c) "in [city]" - no, the entirety of the selection are chain stores in major malls, 4 of which are within a kilometer of the school, the other one being pretty far but still annoying.
d) "Health Nuts" -> Chilis is on the fucking list. Also the phrase "health nuts"

[Jeff Probst]

This confessional is everything. It even has visual diagrams for the visual learners <3

[Nate]

This confessional is everything. It even has visual diagrams for the visual learners <3

Pixels, Hitman or Trainwreck for today?

[Kimmi Kappenberg]

This confessional is everything. It even has visual diagrams for the visual learners <3

Pixels, Hitman or Trainwreck for today?

Pixels

[Kenny]

Can it be trainwreck tomorrow?