Ladies & Gentlemen.....
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 12:47:45 pm
*cue John Cena theme music*
DA DA DA DAAAAAA, DA DA DA DAAAAA, DA DA DA DAAAAAAA, DA DA DA DAAAAAAA. Your time is up, my time is now! You can't see me, my time is now! It's the franchise boy I'm shining now! You can't see me, MY TIME IS NOW!!!
In case you forgot I fell off, I'm still hot knock yo shell off, my money stacked fight plus I can't turn the swell off, I'm the franchise blah blah blah blah blah blah you hear them horns you FINISHED! I'm a soldier, plus I stay young when I'm fighting, and I'm storming on you chumps like I'm thunder & lightning! Ain't no way you breaking me kid, I'm harder than nails, plus I keep it on lock like I'm part of the cell! Competition, I got the whole block wishing they could run with my provision but they going fishing. I'm swole mate, brush your mouth like colgate!
*John Cena theme music stops*
The savior of society, the voice of the voiceless, the methodical master, the being from the fifth dimension, the GOD OF THIS EARTH.......... has arrived.
And I'm feeling sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
OK, let's be honest here folks, last season was just not my game and not my setting. I played in the all-stars, I did pretty terribly, and I took it really hard. But how could I not have taken it hard? I was screwed over by:
- a bald guy with no leg
- a fat hairy man-bear who has the intellect of a 3 year old
- a red headed pussy who's dick looks like a rocket taking off cause his pubes are ginger
- a blondie who looks like a slut with the downsies
- a fucking grandma who's claim to fame is they're a professional erotica fanfic writer
That's embarrassing, kids. Absolutely fucking despicable (PS: I hope Chad loved being the 3rd wheel, you fucking bitch). But you know what? Fuck that. Fuck all of that. Because this year I'm here to reclaim what is rightfully mine: The Lurker Crown. I'm back in the Lurker's place and I'm here to be the best lurker once again, and nothing and nobody will fucking stop me AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!