Episode 01

[Jessica]

I was the first to post my puzzle. I rocked that challenge and I showed my tribe that I am a great asset. This is sure to make people want to keep me. The problem I'm having is that I'm not sure how much I trust my 5-person alliance, or my 3-person alliance. Liliana and Cassandra are both wonderful, but they definitely have bigger allies than myself. Anthony and Stacy...I doubt I'm ever top 3 on their totem poles. I'm getting closer with Papa. I'm feeling close with Mookie. I NEED ALLIES I CAN TRUST, or else my challenge ability might make me seem like a good target.

[Lisa Whelchel]

Word of advice, don't piss off Jeff (Varner) since he's kinda actually really annoying when he's mad. But otherwise, what's the source of distrust with your alliances? Aren't the point of alliances trust? Can you even call them alliances if you don't trust the people in them?

[Jessica]

There has to be trust, but I feel as though in the hierarchy of these alliances, I am one of the lower people. Whenever I see someone writing a PM while viewing people online, and then I don't receive that message, I worry about what that message contained. Sure I understand that other people have to communicate, but when I spend nearly all day checking the boards, seeing these messages being sent and I receive barely any, I worry as to what exactly I am within this tribe.

Perhaps I am safe enough that this constant messaging would seem fruitless. On the other hand I could just be a pawn that is only notified when they are needed to vote. It's a fear I have and will continue to have until I either have something solid or until I have immunity. People here are all playing and I need to be apart of it somehow.

I want to believe Anthony, Stacy, Cassandra, and Liliana all have my back, but in reality I doubt that any of them truly would pick me in their final 2. At the end of the day I don't want to be at the mercy of anyone, but at the same time I want someone to be loyal enough to me to keep me or protect me. I just don't want to put my faith into anyone.

Most of this is simply paranoia and lack of distance between myself and the game since I'm here nearly all day and night. I have no reason to distrust all of my alliance members at this point. However, I will have my guard up more and more as the game continues and fewer messages are sent my way.

[Trashley Markwood]

Good job with the puzzle girl! <3

At what point do you think you might need to worry about your alliances? How long will it be before lines are drawn in the sand, and do you feel confident that you'll recognise them when they are?

From one paranoid player to another, I support you <3

[Jessica]

The first tribal council will be the judgement day. If my partners simply give a command and expect me to follow like a sheep, I'll be aware of how expendable I am. If there's a little discussion between us, at least I'm actually involved but still low in the pecking order. If there's debate, I'm in the loop, I help make decisions, then I can be confident in this round of my alliance and trust.

I have no doubt the first TC for Mykines could be eye-opening for me, however I can only hope my activity and relationships allow me to learn what's what and whom is trustworthy.

Nothing is 100% until the votes are cast

[Jessica]

As someone who is constantly watching who is online and where, I am very aware of how much Cassandra is messaged from every single player. I have no idea how close she is with everyone, but I know for a fact that I cannot be her only partnership. Same with Mookie. Same with Liliana. I need stuff to happen so I can find my people to work with.